I have been planning my adventure for some time now, but I had completely underestimated the chaos and madness that is my life at the moment.

No matter how far ahead I that date was circled in my calendar, there are many things that could not be done until now.  Yes, OK – I could have booked in for my travel jabs a few weeks ago which would have eased some of the panic as I almost didn’t have time to get in the full quota of inoculations.

And yes, I agree, I could have started to sort out the mountain of paperwork in my flat which was generated by my divorce before now, but to be perfectly honest, I couldn’t face that before now and I am still procrastinating.

Blind panic is mixed with a blast of excitement when I look at the blanket of   ”To Do’ lists which are draped over my table and I am doing my best to ignore my rising stress levels as confirmation of another leg of my journey pings into my inbox.

But no matter – I know that everything that needs to be done will be done and anything that I fail to get around to can simply be parked up a loft somewhere.  At least I will have projects to keep me occupied when I finally return home after my wanderings.

I have to go off-piste with my rabies jabs as there is a shortage here in England but I have sourced an unlicensed (in the UK) French vaccine.  The worldwide shortage of the typhoid jab is a little more worrying what with my propensity to vomit, but I am confident that my GP will obtain one for me in the next 6 months.  Because although I won’t require protection from rabies or typhoid before November my departure date has suddenly snuck up on me and one of the things which my final flurry of preparation has highlighted is the dreadful bureaucracy that dictates life here in the UK.

The citizens of the UK are not trusted enough to self declare that they are TV-less.  You need proof.  Need to change addresses for bank statements, insurance policies and subscriptions?  Easier; just a very slow process.  Sell or store my motor bike and car?  Toss a coin.  Cancelling my broadband?  Useless! The company have sent me a letter to leave for the new occupants of the flat inviting them to sign up, but several phone calls have failed to produce the pre-addressed delivery bag in which I have been promised I can post my modem back to them, and as for sorting out my final bill; the logic of their fiance department is scary.

I have just one week to go before I leave work and a further two before I leave my home.  I will be ready.  I will be ready.  It’s too late…I HAVE to be ready.

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