Self empowerment: First steps to understanding

Self empowerment: First steps to understanding

In this introductory guide to self empowerment I’m going to show you the basics and demonstrate how with some simple changes to your attitude you can lead a more positive and satisfactory life.

Self empowerment means to know what is best for oneself and to act accordingly but there are many layers. I will help you to peel back some of those layers and discover how self empowerment comes with raised self esteem and self confidence plus a more positive outlook and therefore…..happiness.

What are you waiting for?  Read on.

                                                                           It is never too late to be who you might have been.                                                          George Eliot

What is self empowerment?

Definition of empowerment – from the Oxford English Dictionary

  • Authority or power given to someone to do something.
  • The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.


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What are the benefits of self empowerment?

Self empowerment is closely linked to mindfulness.  Practicing mindfulness will automatically enhance your self empowerment….. which in turn is linked to self confidence and self esteem – all of which can only be a good thing.


6 key points of empowerment

(There are many more but these 6 form the basis of a good starting point)

  • Become aware of your own capabilities and you will understand why and how you react like you do
  • Begin to make more positive choices and take responsibility for those choices.
  • Don’t allow your circumstances to define who you are, what you do or how you feel or react.
  • Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and see change happen
  • You will develop a heightened sense of awareness and view others objectively
  • You will feel less stress and anxiety and you will be able to deal with dramas and conflict far better.

The crazy thing is about each of the above statements is that if a friend were to ask you for advice you could very probably explain to them why they should adopt these attitudes but they are actually some of the hardest of beliefs to take on board for ourselves.

The good news is that once you do make the decision to actively employ them and follow through, they quickly gather momentum and you will notice changes happening around you.

There are many more routes to self empowerment but these six are a good starting point.  For more information on how you can conquer your anxiety and boost your self confidence click here.

Read each of the key points in more detail below and find out how you can begin to take back control of your life.

self empowerment quote No one can make you feel inferior


Become aware of your own capabilities and you will understand why and how you react like you do                                                 Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are:  Beyonce 

With support you can understand how events in your past have helped you to form your opinion of yourself now.  Learned behaviours and coping mechanisms that you put into place during childhood may no longer be serving you well.  It is time to move on.  Acknowledge them and understand why you react to certain stimuli and then you will be in a position to react differently the next time.  When your emotions no longer control you, when you no longer allow your emotions to control you; then you are taking the first steps to self empowerment.


Begin to make more positive choices and take responsibility for those choices.                                                                                    Trust yourself. There is no one else on earth that is better suited to determining your ideal and making it happen than you:  S.D. Buffington

Maybe you have made a decision in the past that didn’t quite work out as you had planned.  In some cases these experiences can cause us to lose our direction and our self belief.  We believe that we make bad decisions and that can prevent us from moving on.

One way to change your beliefs can be to learn how to tune in to your intuition and your instincts.  You can practise looking for signs and listening to your inner voice – to your intuition or your gut reaction.  Call it what you will, you can learn how to do this and you will find that your self belief grows


Don’t allow your circumstances to define who you are, what you do or how you feel or react.                                                             You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down:  Toni Morrison 

There is a well-established school of thought that states that in order to move on we first need to tackle our demons.  Some therapies advocate delving back into our past and focusing on the issues that are now bringing up our anxiety.  This can certainly be beneficial but it’s not always necessary.

You don’t always need to over-analyse past events but you do need to understand that you have a choice about how you react to them.

If you can move from the role of victim to understanding that you are a survivor that is the first step. Survivors are kick-ass.  They do not cower in the corner.  Survivors acknowledge that shit happened but sometimes it’s not necessary to over-analyse why the shit happened.

Shit happened, you got through it and now it’s time to move on.

You can be taught to believe in yourself with positive mantras.  You can learn how to move from a negative mindset to a positive place and with practice you can banish the dark thoughts and beliefs before they gather and take hold in your mind.

You will feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.  You will walk taller.  You are on the road to self empowerment.

If you are ready for a week long challenge that could start you on this process to making simple changes to your life then click on this link for your free guide: – 7 days to a more confident YOU!

self empowerment quote Happiness is not by chance


Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and see change happen                                                                                            ‘Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be’ – Abraham Lincoln 

Yes I know, this one just sounds too simplistic right?  But believe me, it really does work. February is usually a tough month for me but this year I made a conscious decision to approach it differently.

Every time a memory that would make me sad popped into my mind I instantly pushed it away and instead focused on the very instance that I was in at that time. I made an effort to find something positive, beautiful or interesting and I continuously reminded myself of how grateful I was to be there in that place at that time of day.

Every time a feeling of guilt tried to creep into my head I would stamp on it, remind myself that I had made the best decision at the time for a very good reason and that I could not take responsibility for other people’s feelings….I would focus on my breathing…and then refocus on the place that I was at right then and there.

I would make a conscious effort to focus on what was right under my nose from the warm sun on my skin, the people that I could watch going about their ordinary business to the nature that was thriving around me.

This technique takes effort but it is worth it.

What really surprised was not that I was simply banishing the negative thoughts but my whole mood lifted to such an extent that my social life blew up.  I was asked what my secret was because I was radiant, I was glowing, I was inspiring others.  But truly in an effort to get myself through February I simply replaced the negatives with positives.

I can recommend a really good book at this point called The Art of Happiness written by the Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler.  I dip in and out of this book whenever I need reminding of humanity’s ability to cope.  Click on this link to order your copy today.


You will develop a heightened sense of awareness and view others objectively                                                                                      ‘If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, even the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher,’ Pema Chodron

Stop for a moment and look around you. What opinions do you have of the people that you see?  On what basis are you making those judgments?  Are they learned behaviours from past experiences or are you projecting your own insecurities onto them?

Whatever the reason you are judging people without knowing them.

Learn to become less judgemental and to put all of your prejudices aside and as you begin to understand how you react to somebody else’s irritating behaviour or cutting comments you benefit in two ways.

Your may amend your own behaviours when you understand how others may perceive them and you will not allow the behaviours of others to impact upon your emotions in a negative way.

You will become more receptive and open and this will attract people to you.  We are social animals and as we connect with others this benefits both us and them.


You will feel less stress and anxiety and you will be able to deal with dramas and conflict far better.                                                   If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem can’t be solved worrying will do you no good – Gautama Buddha 

Do I need to add anything else to the above point?  I think that the accompanying quote covers it.  No ifs, no buts.  You simply need to teach yourself how to stop worrying, but don’t worry – I have that one covered too.

By popular demand I am going to bring you a quick course which is all about learning to believe in yourself.  Make sure that you don’t miss out on the launch by signing up to receive emails – click here: ‘7 days to a more confident YOU!’ or follow me on


The 6 points above are just a starting point.  My work as a self esteem mentor is taking me along a fabulous life changing journey.  I have almost completed my training as a Master Mindfulness Practitioner and I now meditate regularly.  I am passionate about supporting others on their own journey of self discovery and acceptance.  The golden rule in everything is that first you need to accept and understand yourself and then everything else that you hope for will begin to fall into place.

As your confidence in your own abilities grow then your problems will no longer look quite so daunting.  You will become a warrior and any new dramas which come along are simply proof that you can cope and will demonstrate how much you have grown and moved on.

If you have any questions or comments on this article I would love to hear from you – either in the comment section below or in a private message if you prefer.

Don’t miss future updates and don’t miss the chance to your own self empowerment.

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